Missouri Loves Fun, Sexy Company

So, yo.

After last night's death march through the scorching streets of Phoenix, I had dug deep, preparing myself for the horrors that awaited me in the second offering of auditions for this, the 8th season of the joy that is American Idol. I had embraced all of the breeding that my Southern-fried mama has instilled in me by setting my expectations VERY low (it almost always assures you of being pleasantly surprised).

You know what? I was.

Kansas City, while certainly serving up its share of hot messes, had quite a number of folks who can say, with confidence, that "it" was brough'en!

I need to get something off my chest, however, before I delve any deeper into tonight's standouts:

If I NEVER hear Somewhere Over The Rainbow again, it will be too soon. There. I've said it. YES. I'll grant you that it's a great song. But it's been far-too-often butchered and used as a weapon against the eardrums of innocent souls like myself. Seriously ... what did I ever do to that song that would make it hate me so very, very much? It should be banned from AI, along with Something to Talk About and Black Velvet, as well as the collective songbooks of Mari-ugh Carey, Whitney 'Crack Is Whack' Houston, and Stevie Wonder (not that I disparage Mr. Wonder in the least).

*steps down off of soapbox*

Where was I? Oh, right. Kansas City.

• Ashley Anderson. While she might not be the BEST singer ever to appear on this show, she's surely one of the craftiest. She opted to sing a Leona Lewis song, which, coincidentally, was penned by one Simon Cowell. Even though she muffed the words a little, she was in like Flynn. A note, however: I don't care if you ARE 6'4", it's not necessary to wear earrings so large that a Shih Tzu could jump through them.
• Casey Carlson. She is the poster child for all-American cuteness. She went to the Carrie Underwood School for Middle-American Wholesomeness (and doubtless graduated summa cum laude). She has a decent voice, though she could give John Moschitta a run for his fast-talking money.

As a side note, I need to mention that this show may have the greatest editors ever to walk the planet. Tonight's Montage of Tears was one of the funniest things I've seen in a while.

• Von Smith. I'm going to overlook the fact that he hurt my feelings by singing The Song That Shall Not Be Named (see above) because he's got real potential. He's either going to go VERY far, or he'll crash and burn right away. Hard to tell. But he's got something.
• Michael Castro. Ahhh ... nepotism. Gotta love it. The 20-year-old brother of last year's 4th runner up, Jason "I Wish I Was Jack Johnson" Castro, just started singing about 3 weeks prior to the audition. And you know what? He wasn't bad. He sang a Gavin DeGraw song, which probably wasn't such a good idea, but at least he didn't sing I Don't Want To Be, which should be retired, along with the rest of the of songs listed above.
• Matt Breitzke. He's sort of a loveable teddy bear type. He's a welder; another real man's man (like last night's oil derrick guy). For me, he was kind of ahead of the game, because he chose to sing Ain't No Sunshine, which is one of my mostest favoritest songs of all-time. He was NOT BAD. Not GREAT, but not bad.
  
• Jessica Furney. She's another one of those sweet n' wholesome farm-raised, milk-fed types. Cute. As. A. Button. And she sang the tar out of some Janis Joplin, so she scored major points right there.
• Danny Gokey. Oh, Danny, Danny, Danny. Even if you didn't look like the second coming of Robert Downey, Jr., you'd have me completely sold. THIS guy is the real deal. He's got everything. If there's one place THIS Danny is NOT going, it's to the lumberyard. He's got Top 10 written all over him, easy. LOVE. HIM.
  
• Anoop Desai. He's the Freshmaker. Refreshingly geeky, curiously talented. He's like a musical Altoid.
  
• Asa Barnes. Junior High School band leader. Even though he sang a Michael Jackson song (something that generally falls under the heading of "Not The Best Idea"), I liked this guy. Totally unpretentious, good role-model type and totally self-effacing. And he can actually sing (which is a bonus in a show that is, ostensibly, about singing talent).
• Lil Rounds. Sounds like something that doctors do on their off-hours, or some newfangled dog treat, but no, it's actually a name. She's another one who is gonna get a big dose of sympathy vote, because she has a Sad Story. She's got a really good, strong, truly soulful voice and I think she'll be right in the thick of things til close to the end.
  

In all, 27 folks got the nod to go on to Hollywood, most of them actually deserved it, I think. Certainly more so than Bikini Girl (who, in the immortal words of Jon Stewart, needs a cunch to the pooter).

Fingers crossed that the next two weeks will be as merciful as tonight's romp through KCMO!

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